Lee Gaze

lee_gaze @ 2003-08-06T16:58:00

2003-08-06T15:59:34Z

still alive and not knowing what to say. uhm.... my bandmates are too lazy to get a journal. so life of lee gaze's pretty much dead, man...

>Lee

lee_gaze @ 2003-05-03T02:10:00

2003-05-03T01:11:10Z

still alive.

and sick of life.

Yeah...

2003-03-13T06:49:28Z

Yeah I'm still alive

We're working on our new album. In, guess where, LA. How wonderful....

~~I don't think I could handle seeing him again....~~

>Lee

lee_gaze @ 2003-02-06T07:04:00

2003-02-06T07:04:07Z

Chester chose his path and I'm not walking with him. I still love him but at the end of the day, he doesn't love me back, so it seems we've settled for friends.

I'm back in the UK, I hope its understandable when I say America is not as appealing as it used to be. I've been through shit loads of problems there... but I've also spent some of the best times of my life there. Too much to cope with, so I'm back home.

Thanks to everyone I've met in America.

And thanks to Chester. I wish you the best of luck for your future. With Brad.

>Lee

...rejection...?

2003-01-18T18:16:56Z

So things were moving too fast. And he needed time to himself. When I was away, sorting things out with my bandmates, he found solace with someone else. Even though I was only gone for a couple of days... but he seems to have gone through a rough time and I wasn't there.

I'd be lying if I said I was okay with this. But I do understand, and maybe I was rushing things...

He knows I'm here - he says he needs time to himself. And he knows that whatever he chooses, I'll understand.

I shouldn't get my hopes up, right?

>Lee

Choices.

2003-01-06T15:30:50Z

I'm back at the pad and I'm asking myself this question, over and over again:

Did I make the right choice?

I think-... no, i know I did. But, like I said, I've never been involved. Well... Not never. Maybe once. For a brief while, but it scarred me. I grew attached and it wounded me. ~~It scares me how people resort to physical violence to... to "prove their love" That man... almost destroyed me during that brief time. I never loved him, I know that now.~~

But that's beside the point. I was hanging around, Ian dropped me off at the park, and there he was, sitting on a bench. I blurted it all out to him, I told him that I like him. Only to find he likes me back.

Heh, that was unexpected. I thought he was as straight as they come. Also, who would want a gay, (yes, I'm gay if you couldn't tell) little guitarist from Wales with a weird dress sense? But he likes me. So we talked.

And we talked. And made choices. Even though its only been a few days, even though I'm here on holiday and he lives here, even though he's been through/going through shitload of problems, I chose him. We're together. We're giving each other a chance. And I've chosen to stay. I've chosen him and I've never been happier, I've never been so sure before - he's an amazing, beautiful person.

But I am scared.

I've had this crush on him for over a year. Ever since we supported them. It's surreal now, that I'm with him. Like a dream that's come true. But again, there's the what ifs. What if he changes his mind? What if he'll regret it? I trust him. I do. I just don't want to lose him now I've got him and I'm just so scared.

"I'm just so worried you might wake up and say what the 'fuck am I doing here'."

That'll never happen.

If the entry doesn't make sense, then what can I do about it? It's my journal, no one's asking you to read it!

>Lee

In LA

2003-01-04T09:30:20Z

So I'm chilling in the bedroom of this huge pad I'm in. Ian is snoring in the other room, and if he doesnt stop any time soon, I'll smother him with his own pillow. He's so loud, it's un-bloody-believable!

I met up with Chester Bennington - imagine my surprise when he came up to my table in a cafe in LA. That was a big shock seeing as I'm a fan of Linkin Park's music. So yeah, got to know him better, and I also spoke to Steve Richards. They're both cool guys and I'm glad to have gotten to know them.

Feelings. I've been experiencing a lot of that recently. Its amazing how powerful feelings can get. So powerful, that it makes you do crazy things. Say crazy things. Think crazy things. Its scary. I don't really allow myself to get attached - I've seen a lot of my friends get destroyed by relationships, and its just bloody scary. Which is why I'm kinda scared now. Its stupid really, that someone probably doesn't even feel the same way as I do. Probably not even interested. Only wants to be friends. So I shouldn't get my hopes up, and allow myself to get more attached, right? But theres always the what ifs. What IF that someone does like me. What if that someone wants to be more than just friends.

I can't help but hope.

I'm going to bed, I am absolutely shattered, and my body aches. Bad. I'm so stiff, my muscles scream with every move I make. Maybe its jet lag.

Night.

>Lee

First post

2003-01-02T20:32:46Z

I'm Lee Gaze - guitarist of the band, the LostProphets. You can read more about us here, and visit our website here.

LostProphets guys
Ian Watkins - vocalist
Mike Lewis - guitarist
Stuart Richardson - bass
Mike Chiplin - drums
Jamie Oliver - decks (DJ)

We all come from Wales, United Kingdom, and we've beem rocking for over five years. We kinda exploded on screen in 2000. We've supported Linkin Park and we've played at Ozzfest and so on.

You may have heard our song, shinobi VS dragonninja.

We're good. Honest. ;)

Now I'm gonna finish off packing. I got this Journal, cos I was told it was fun. So... yeah. I'm off to America with the guys, to LA. Jamie's got a friend over there so we're gonna be hanging out with him for a while. I'm excited, finally I'm getting out of this dreary, rainy country.

Aim - DreadLocked Lee

>Lee

OOC

2003-01-02T20:24:23Z

[[Lee Gaze is reseting the journal. So most entries have been deleted and such.

His aim is DreadLocked Lee

Lates.]]